Every year it rolls around – Fathers Day. It’s a day to thank our Dad for the great job he did in supporting us to be the amazing person we are. But what if you don’t think your Dad did a great job? Or what if you think the job your children’s Dad is doing is a bit shabby?
What’s a divorced Mum to do?
It’s hard to stand in front of the long aisle of John Sands fathers day cards. “Thanks for being the worlds BEST DAD”, “You’re the greatest, Dad”, “Thank you for everything you do for me”.
Where’s the card that says “You suck, but we love you anyway”? Isn’t that the one you WANT to buy?
Well here’s a tip …
“It isn’t about YOU, Mum. It’s about me. You might think my Dad is a loser, or a good for nothing. He might not even see me regularly. I know he doesn’t pay anything cause you tell me all the time. But you know what, Mum? You can’t stop me from loving him. I feel bad when you say bad stuff about Dad – even when I know it’s true. ‘Cause all I really want is for him to love me. He doesn’t need to take me to the park – I like video games better anyway! And I like sleeping in on Saturday morning instead of getting up in the cold to go to soccer. I know I made stuff at school to give him on father’s day, but it would be nice if I could do stuff with you too, share it with you. I just want you both together so I don’t have to take sides all the time. Sometimes I even pretend I don’t like Dad to make you happy. But I do like him. Sorry Mum.”
Being a great Mum is about more than all the things you do. It’s about the things you don’t do, too. Don’t let fathers day make you less of a Mum than you want to be. When you’re helping your kids make cards encourage them to write “I love you” instead of “you’re the best”. Because they do love him, whether he’s good to them, see’s them, pays child support or not. They love him. Let them. Support their love and you’re supporting your child. Swallow that little bit of vomit that rises in your mouth and give your child the gift of Fathers Day.